


For Better or Worse

by elirwen



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Drama, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-10
Updated: 2012-10-10
Packaged: 2017-11-16 00:58:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/533719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elirwen/pseuds/elirwen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Saving Arthur's life, Merlin revealed himself as warlock in front of the king. Now it's Arthur's turn to save Merlin.</p>
<p>You can go see my <a href="http://elirwen.livejournal.com/30437.html">lj entry</a> for spoilery warning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Better or Worse

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a gift for [reni_m](http://reni-m.livejournal.com/) in merlin holidays 2011.
> 
> [Ella_bane](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ella_bane), being an awesome mod, did a wonderful additional beta job. Thank you!

"Seize him," Uther yelled.

Two guards grabbed Merlin's arms.

"Father, don't," Arthur called out.

"Sorcery is a crime punishable by death. He brought this on himself."

"Please, he does no harm to the kingdom," Arthur tried again.

"He will be burnt at the stake tomorrow at dawn."

"Father, you can't."

"Give me one good reason why?"

"I love him. As you loved my mother," Arthur said. "I'll hate you forever if you kill him."

Uther stared at his son in silent shock.

"He enchanted you," he said, his face hardening once again.

"No," Arthur shouted. "I love him."

"Don't worry. It'll be over soon," Uther said, not listening to Arthur's words.

He strode to Merlin, dagger in his hand, and plunged it into Merlin's side before Arthur could react. Merlin's mouth opened in a silent shout, eyes wide with shock. Uther pulled the blade out and stepped away.

Arthur was already there, catching Merlin as his legs gave out, the guards letting go of him at Uther's nod. Arthur fell to his knees, pulling Merlin closer.

"Merlin," he whispered, his vision blurred by tears.

He grasped Merlin's hand in his own.

"I love you too," Merlin croaked.

"You can't die. We have a destiny," Arthur sobbed.

"You have to go on without me," Merlin whispered, squeezing Arthur's hand.

Arthur shook his head frantically.

"For Albion," Merlin said, cough wracking his body. "For me."

Arthur pressed his lips to Merlin's. He felt him going limp in his arms, but he kept his eyes shut, not ready to see Merlin's lifeless face. He clutched his body to himself, cheek pressed into the crook of Merlin's neck. It was as if part of him died with Merlin, the pain of loss overwhelming.

"It's all my fault," he kept repeating into Merlin's skin.

* * *

One Year Ago

"Help me out of this. I can't stand it a minute longer," Arthur said, tugging at the lacing of his cloak.

"Calm down," Merlin said, capturing Arthur's hands, stopping their abrupt movements.

"Calm down? I almost married a woman I don't love. And I did so right in front of you," Arthur said, letting his hands fall to his sides. "I shouldn't have let it go so far. I'm sorry."

"It's alright," Merlin said, unlacing the cloak and letting it slide to the floor.

"No, it's not. I hurt you. I hurt you all the time."

"That's not true," Merlin said, helping Arthur out of his chainmail.

"Could you go and fetch us some dinner?" Arthur asked after a few moments of silence.

"Sure. Try not to blame yourself too much while I'm away," Merlin said before rushing out of the room.

~x~

When Merlin returned, Arthur had already changed into more comfortable clothes and was standing by the window. Merlin placed the jug of wine and a platter full of different kinds of meat, cheese and fruit on the table.

Arthur approached him from behind and wrapped his arms around him, pressing a kiss to the side of Merlin's neck, and then led him to his chair before sitting in his own.

"The whole castle is talking about today's ceremony. I overheard the kitchen staff speculating about you having an affair with some noblewoman," Merlin said in between bites. "When they spotted me, they asked me if I knew anything."

"What would you know?" Arthur said, smiling for the first time since they entered the chambers, and entwined his fingers with Merlin's.

"I told them I didn't know about any noblewoman, but I probably shouldn't have because now they're somehow convinced it's Gwen you fell for," Merlin finished and took a long sip from Arthur's goblet.

"Easy there. You know how it is with you and the wine," said Arthur and snatched the goblet out of Merlin's hands. "We should warn her."

"I'll tell her in the morning. And there's nothing wrong with me and the wine," Merlin replied.

"You vomited all over the floor last time you drank it."

"I caught a cold and it didn't go well with alcohol. That's all."

"Good thing you have magic. At least you could clean it yourself even when lying in my bed."

"I remember you saying I was an idiot for exerting myself when being ill," Merlin shot back.

"Now I believe you were ill. I'd never say that."

The fond look on Arthur's face was saying otherwise.

"Prat."

"Really, Merlin? Again with the insults?"

Merlin just shrugged, wide grin on his face.

Arthur turned back to his plate, his expression growing more serious once more.

"We should finish the dinner and go to bed. If you want to stay, that is," Arthur said, his words laced with uncertainty.

"Of course I want to stay. There's nowhere I'd rather be," Merlin said, squeezing Arthur's hand.

~x~

"I have something for you," Arthur said, kneeling on the bed when Merlin changed into his nightclothes.

"What is it?" Merlin asked, climbing on the mattress to join him.

"I was thinking about today. About the future. About you," Arthur said looking into Merlin's eyes. "I'm not going to marry out of duty."

"I know our relationship can't be official in public. At least not now. But I'd like to make my vows to you because you're the only one that matters."

Arthur reached into his bedside drawer, pulling out a small box. He opened it and showed its contents, two identical silver lockets, to Merlin.

"They belonged to my mother. She had them made just for me after she realized she was pregnant," he said, opening one of the lockets.

The letter 'A' was inscribed there, no other decorations.

"My nanny took it to be inscribed after my birth. This one is meant for the person I truly love, the other is for me. It's still empty because I haven't thought about it till today, but I can take it to the jeweler first thing tomorrow."

He raised his eyes to look up at Merlin who was watching him, expression full of love and adoration.

"Do you want to share a life with me?" Arthur asked.

Instead of an answer, Merlin reached for the locket, and with a flash of gold in his eyes, he formed the letter M on the inside, and then offered it to Arthur with a whisper of "Yes, forever."

Arthur put it back into the box and took both of Merlin's hands in his own.

"I, Arthur Pendragon, bind myself to you, Merlin Emrys. I love you with all my heart and always will. I swear to be at your side through all the good and bad the life will bring us. I will never betray your trust."

He slipped the chain over Merlin's head and covered the locket with his palm.

"With this locket I seal my vow."

Then it was Merlin's turn to take Arthur's hands, and while looking him in the eyes, let the words flow.

"I, Merlin Emrys, bind myself to you Arthur Pendragon. I give myself to you fully and unconditionally. No hardship or trouble can change the way I see you. Even if we find ourselves miles apart, my heart will be with you."

He placed the locket on Arthur's chest and covered it with his palm.

"With this locket I seal my vow," he repeated Arthur's words.

Arthur pulled him closer and Merlin whispered, "let the magic be our witness."

As their lips met, magic burst out of Merlin. He gasped and tensed, feeling the power gathering and moving, pulling them closer together as it wound around them. Merlin gave in to the feeling and let himself being swept away by the kiss.

It was desperate at first, as wild as the magic roaring around them, but then it calmed as the power settled. Their eyes were closed so they couldn't see the glow that surrounded them changing into a stream of light, creating a strong line between their hearts, but they could feel it touching their souls.

The glow slowly dissipated, and Merlin slumped in Arthur's arms. Arthur laid them down, positioning Merlin so his head was pillowed on Arthur's shoulder.

"Are you alright?" he asked and felt Merlin nod in answer.

"Just tired," he added.

"What happened?" Arthur asked, carding his fingers through Merlin's hair.

"I don't know," he said, settling more comfortably in Arthur's embrace. "I guess my magic responded to my request of being our witness. And it probably did more than that," he said, ending the sentence with a yawn.

"We can worry about that in the morning," Arthur said.

Merlin automatically put out the lights and pulled the covers over them. He was asleep in seconds. Arthur continued stroking his hair, reveling in the feeling of contentment until he fell asleep himself.

* * *

Arthur gasped at the almost physical tug on his heart. He opened his eyes just in time to see the white glow spreading over Merlin's body. Uther yelled for the guards to pull Arthur away, but he held fast. When he heard an intake of breath and saw Merlin's eyes flutter open, the emptiness from before was already gone.

More guards entered the chamber and together they managed to tear Arthur away from Merlin, but not before he whispered, "I'll save you," into Merlin's ear.

"Take him to the dungeons," he heard Uther saying. "And escort the prince to his chambers."

Arthur didn't fight the guards. It was pointless anyway. He let himself be escorted to his room and then paced around it for the rest of the evening, ignoring the meal brought by a silent serving girl. He fell asleep sitting in the chair in front of the fireplace.

~x~

He woke up with a start in the middle of the night. At first he didn't know why. But then he felt it. The emptiness was back. It was exactly the same feeling as before, when Merlin stopped breathing for those few excruciating minutes.

Merlin wasn't just being held in dungeons. They were hurting him. They were killing him again.

Arthur ran to the door, hitting it blindly, willing them to open it. He yelled for the guards to let him out.

The emptiness was filled again, and a wave of relief crashed over him, but he didn't stop banging on the door. It earned no reaction from the other side.

~x~

A serving girl, carrying his breakfast, found him sitting beside the door, his hands bloody.

"Sire," she gasped, and quickly deposited the tray on the table and ran out of the door.

Gaius entered his chambers a few minutes later. Arthur ignored all his questions. He couldn't find it in himself to feel guilty for causing his worry. Not when Merlin was trapped beneath the castle, suffering.

"Come sit in the chair. I need to clean those," he said, gesturing to his hands.

"Those are nothing," he said, staring at his bloodied fingers. "They are hurting him. They tried to kill him again."

"You can't know that," he said in an attempt to be soothing.

"I can feel it when he... slips away."

"You're just..."

"We made vows to each other, sealing them with magic, but it did more. It bonded us," Arthur said, looking up at him. "I swear I heard him call my name so many times. Once right before the emptiness came. Right before they..."

Gaius looked shocked, horrified.

"It's all my fault. I should have convinced him to leave Camelot. I knew it wasn't safe for him here, but I was so selfish."

"He wouldn't go," Gaius said.

"I'd banish him if I had to."

"You really think it would make him leave? Would you leave him if Merlin told you to?"

"He's suffering because of me."

"He's suffering because of Uther," Gaius said in a strict tone. "If you want to stop it from happening, you need to make some sort of a plan, not spend time wallowing in self-pity. And now come here. I'm not as young as I used to be."

"You're right," Arthur said after a while.

He got into his chair and let Gaius work on cleaning and bandaging his hands.

"What if he's going to hate me?" he asked quietly.

"Why would he?"

"I let it all happen. I let him die, and not only once," Arthur said with guilt in his voice.

"You said you heard him calling your name. He thinks of you when he needs help. For all we know, thinking of you might be keeping him sane."

"I don't want to drag you into this, but I need help," Arthur said after a few moments of contemplating.

"Merlin's like a son to me. I'll do anything in my power to help him."

Arthur nodded his thanks.

"I can't talk to any of my knights without causing suspicions," he said.

"So you want me to speak to Lancelot, Elyan, Gwaine, Leon and Percival," he said and Arthur nodded.

"I need them to find out as much as possible about Merlin's situation. Where they hold him, changing of the guards, what they do to him," Arthur said, his throat closing around the last few words.

"I think the knights are waiting for your orders already. They might even already know the answers."

"Also, I need some of your strongest sleeping draught. We'll add it to some wine for the guards when the time comes."

"Anything else?"

"I need you to pack Merlin's belongings. Ask Gwaine to help you."

Gaius nodded and finished bandaging of his hand. He put his supplies in his bag. When he looked back up he saw Arthur tensing, pain in his eyes.

"What is it?" he asked.

"He called for me," Arthur said, voice breaking. "He's scared..."

"We'll get him out soon," Gaius said, voice soothing.

"I wish I could do more than just sit around here," Arthur said, walking to the window.

"If I understand it right, you already do."

Arthur turned to look at him, doubtful expression on his face.

"I've never heard of something similar to this, but if you can feel his emotions, he can feel yours. In a sense, you're still with him."

"Thank you," Arthur said. "For all you've ever done for me, us, the kingdom."

* * *

Ten months ago

The door burst open, revealing Merlin with his palm outstretched. His eyes glowed gold as he sent the sorcerer crashing to the wall where the man crumbled, unconscious.

"Did he hurt you?" Merlin asked, hurrying to Arthur's side.

He helped Arthur out of the ropes that were tying his hands and legs to the bedposts.

"I'm alright," Arthur assured him. "He was just starting with his ritual when you got here. I thought you were out collecting herbs for Gaius."

"I had a feeling you needed my help. For a moment, I even thought I heard you call my name."

"The bond?" Arthur asked simply and Merlin nodded.

"I think so. What are we going to do about him?" he asked, motioning to the crumpled figure on the ground. "Should I get guards?"

"No," Arthur replied. "You should talk to him. Find out what he wanted."

"Do you think it's a good idea?"

"We need to know if this is a part of something bigger. You can use the binding spell on him."

"What if it won't work?"

"It worked pretty well last time."

"Yes, but you weren't really fighting it, and you're not a sorcerer," Merlin said, blushing at the memory.

"You'll do great," Arthur assured him. "Go on, do your thing," he said, wriggling his fingers.

Merlin muttered a spell, and the sorcerer's legs and wrists shifted to a new position as if bound by an invisible rope.

"I'll wake him."

"No, let's give him his time," Arthur said.

"Do you think I could feel you being in danger?" Arthur asked after a moment of silence.

"Probably. We'll know for sure when something happens to me."

"I'd like to never find out," Arthur said and Merlin squeezed his hand.

"Trust me, I'd be more than happy to just live my life in peace," he said.

"I think he's waking up," Arthur said quietly.

Merlin checked his bindings and then waited for the sorcerer to look at them.

"What's your name?" he asked when he had the sorcerer's full attention.

"Why should I tell you that? You're working for him," the sorcerer said, nodding in Arthur's direction.

"Because I'm the one holding the bindings," Merlin replied. "Now tell me your name and what you were trying to do to him."

"My name's Nathan," the man said eventually. "I wanted to make him stop hating the magic users."

"Don't you think it's a bit redundant?" Arthur asked, clearly amused.

"How was I supposed to know that Camelot's prince has a sorcerer for a manservant?" Nathan bit out.

"How did you intend to do that?" Merlin asked. "An enchantment?"

"Yes, but I wanted to make sure it'd last. That's why I was doing the ritual."

"Why should I believe you? You could be saying it all in hope that it'll save your own skin."

"I have nothing but my word," Nathan said, looking straight into Merlin’s eyes.

Merlin glanced at Arthur questioningly.

"To prove to you I'm not like my father, I'll let you go," Arthur said.

"But if you ever try to harm Arthur, me, or any other subject of Camelot, I'll find you and deal with you. Do you understand?" Merlin said, his tone serious, magic surging inside of him.

Nathan's distrustful look changed slowly into one full of awe, and to both Merlin's and Arthur's surprise, he bowed, saying, "Yes, my lord."

"I'm just a servant," Merlin said after a moment of stunned silence.

"For them, maybe, but I felt your power, and it's unique."

Merlin looked at Arthur, expecting to see surprise in his eyes, but there was only pride. Arthur nodded to him, a silent consent, and Merlin let go of the binding spell.

"Come with me. I'll lead you out of the castle," said Merlin.

* * *

Uther came to visit Arthur, bringing him Merlin's locket. Again, he tried to convince him that sorcerers are always evil. Arthur didn't listen.

As soon as Uther left, Arthur slipped the locket over his own head.

"Hold on. We'll get you out soon," he whispered.

~x~

By the nightfall, everything was ready. Gwen doused the wine with Gaius's potion, taking care of both guards in front of Arthur's chambers and the ones guarding the entrance to the dungeons.

Arthur sent Lancelot and Gwen with his packed bag to the horses that were left waiting in the forest outside of Camelot's walls. They'd join Gaius who had decided to leave as well.

Arthur met the rest of his most loyal knights at the entrance of the dungeons, nodding his thanks, and went in without a single word. They passed the sleeping guards. Arthur signaled to Elyan and Percival to stay there, and continued towards the cells.

From what they had gathered throughout the day, there were supposed to be three men stationed at Merlin's cell. Two inside and one outside of it.

Arthur tried very hard not to think about what those men had done to Merlin, squashing down Gwen's voice from earlier as she told him with tears in her eyes what they'd found out. Beating, kicking, flogging, cutting. Leaving him to a slow and painful death, and when he'd wake up, doing it all again. Arthur was dreading the moment of entering the cell.

As planned, Gwaine lured the guard away from his spot where Leon knocked him out. It was ridiculously easy.

Arthur gripped his sword tight, approaching the door. He could hear men laughing inside, and the boiling of his blood turned into a white hot rage as he crashed the door open.

He threw himself at the first man, knocking him down with the hilt of his sword and sitting on top of him. He pummeled the man’s face with his fist, blow after blow, even after the man lost consciousness.

The other man met a similar fate at Gwaine's hands.

"Arthur..."

It was just a small sound, barely audible, but it made Arthur stop. His head snapped up.

Merlin was looking at him, lying on his side, hand outstretched. He was naked, dried blood covering almost every inch of his body except for the places marred by fresh wounds.

Arthur rushed to Merlin's side, not knowing what to do to save Merlin from any more suffering.

"Arthur," Merlin whispered again, hope mixing with pain in his eyes.

"We'll get you out of here," Arthur said, gathering Merlin in his arms.

Merlin cried out, eyes squeezed shut.

"I'm sorry," Arthur said. "Gwaine, I need something to cover him with."

Arthur noticed the deep cut on Merlin's arm and its steady flow of blood.

"I don't want to die again," Merlin croaked. "It hurts."

"I know, love," Arthur said, carding through Merlin's hair. "I brought you this," he said, pressing Merlin's locket into his palm.

"I'm scared," Merlin breathed out, clutching the locket.

"Shh, love, everything's going to be fine," Arthur soothed, kissing Merlin's forehead.

He couldn't lie to Merlin, couldn’t tell him he wouldn't go through it again. He'd seen the signs. There was too much blood flowing, Merlin’s rigid abdomen indicating internal injuries. In fact, Arthur was surprised Merlin was still conscious.

He saw panic rising in Merlin's eyes. Could he tell by now what approaching death felt like?

"I'm sorry, love. I'm here. It's the last time, I promise," Arthur murmured, caressing Merlin's cheek. "Let go. I'll be there when you wake up."

Merlin drew a few more ragged breaths, gripping Arthur's hand tightly, the locket digging into their palms. Then it was over, Merlin's empty eyes staring up at Arthur as heavy emptiness spread through his very soul.

"We need to move," Gwaine said, coming from behind. "I have a blanket."

"Spread it on the ground," Arthur commanded, throat tight.

He closed Merlin's eyes and slipped the locket over his head where it belonged. He laid him on the blanket, wrapping it around him, and cradled him to his chest once more.

"Take my sword," he said to Gwaine as he stood up and left the cell, Merlin safe in his arms.

~x~

Arthur stumbled, leaning on the wall for the support as his knees buckled under him. The magic was reviving Merlin and the flood of emotions almost brought Arthur down.

Gwaine was at his side, offering to take over for him, but Arthur shook his head. He took a deep breath and pushed himself from the wall. Just a few more steps and they'd be out of the castle.

~x~

He felt Merlin tensing in his arms, regaining consciousness, but soon he relaxed against him, sighing Arthur's name.

~x~

The warning bells sounded when they were safely out of the city.

~x~

"How is he?" Gaius was the first to ask as they reached the other group.

"Magic healed him. He's just sleeping," Arthur said.

Everyone seemed to relax a bit.

"I'm not," Merlin mumbled, his eyes barely open.

Arthur smiled at him.

"We don't have time to clean you up right now," he said apologetically. "Gwaine's going to hold you for a second, alright?"

Merlin nodded and Gwaine took him from Arthur, allowing him to climb onto his horse. Lancelot helped him lift Merlin up to sit in front of Arthur.

"Comfortable?" Arthur asked.

"Given the circumstances," Merlin answered, settling in Arthur's embrace.

The rest of the group mounted their steeds and they set on the road.

"Where are we going?" Merlin asked.

"To my uncle's estate. He's my mother's brother. I know his relationship with my father was always tense. I believe he'll help us."

"And what if you're wrong?"

"We'll find somewhere else to stay. Somewhere safe," Arthur said, feeling Merlin yawn. "Sleep. You need it."

"Yes, Sire," Merlin said playfully, flashing Arthur a grin, but then obeyed and closed his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> You can comment [on my lj](http://elirwen.livejournal.com/30437.html) if you prefer.


End file.
